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Monday, September 2, 2013

Hanging with Strawmen

Perhaps I'm a glutton for punishment but I recently discovered  how awesome it is to hang with strawmen. Imagine, if you will, hanging out with a real environmentalist.

This is the part where you imagine.

And you end up with a pretty mundane person with a belief in responsible stewardship of the Earth.  Pretty boring.

Now imagine hanging out with Strawman Environmentalist. Now you've got a dreadlocked, patchouli scented lunatic who will scream about the need to kill loggers or how electricity is evil. The real environmentalist would just engage in lengthy reasoned discussions on the pros and cons of various carbon offsets in power production. Strawman Environmentalist will talk about bombing the power plant. Real environmentalist will want to discuss ways to improve housing development to make it more sustainable. Strawman Environmentalist wants to depopulate Earth of humans because people suck.

Get what I'm saying?

And this is the way it goes. For example a real feminist is pretty much anyone that believes and strives for gender equality. Heck that could be your brother. Strawwomyn Feminist, on the other hand, is always female and has the entire SCUM Manifesto memorized.

Strawman Black Activist is also an interesting character. As he bloviates on the need to oppress all white people and the constant accusations of slavery.

Also entertaining is Strawman Animal Rights Activist. Because this is a guy who is a Level F Vegan (that means anything that is part of the carbon cycle can't be eaten) who throws blood on you for having a pet cat. Way more interesting than just some person who thinks animals should not be treated cruelly.

Then there is Strawman Atheist who insults anyone who harbors a spiritual inclination is a mentally defective gutter rat.

Lastly we have Strawman Political Conservative who thinks Obama is a Muslim and wants to pollute the planet just because.


Wait.....

Oh....darn

Okay, who let the real political conservative in the building?

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