Day -1: This should be an experience I will never forget. This is going to be great. I have always loved these things. That was the longest liability waiver form I've ever signed though. What in the hell is Yersinia pestis?
Day 1: Well, they've assigned me to work in some field. That doesn't sound like much fun, I can't wait for the first feast! Man these clothes are really uncomfortable. I've been given some sort of realistic wife.....she's missing some teeth...she's got a bump down on her belly....and doesn't really have the heaving bosoms I thought I'd be seeing everywhere.
Day 3: No feast yet and I keep working in the field for some nobleman or something. Supposedly this is just so I have permission to work my own field which the nobleman also owns. That sounds like the crappiest deal ever.
Day 5: Very tired from the work and I stink. I asked where some showers were located and was told that bathing is evil.........I think this explains why everyone covers up so much in these godawful clothes.
Day 12: Supposedly we're simulating some famine. I'm eating this horrible mush stuff I call wheat puke. My.....erm.....wife seems to be several months pregnant already. I probably shouldn't ask too much about that. There'd damned well better be some sort of great feast after all this.
Day 22: Famine continues. Knights are jerks! They're supposed to like be all chivalrous but all they do is bully us around and rape the women. They killed a man out in a field just to watch him die. I'm wondering if I should have read all that fine print in the liability form.
Day 42: Famine is over! Fake wife seems to be really pregnant, may be more along than I thought. Learned a lesson today: apparently it's really bad to insult the religious guys in the funny clothes. Learned a new word today too: scourging!
Day 73: Still no feast. Really tired and bored. Wish there were books to read....or some games to play....or anything to do except be miserable.
Day 84: Wife gave birth! Doctor didn't wash his hands even though I'm pretty sure he was cutting something nasty up before. That doesn't seem right. He laughed at the idea of tiny things that can kill you though.
Day 87: Wife's dead. Apparently this frequently happens after child birth here.
Day 91: Baby is dead. No one knows why. They just shrug and say, "kids die a lot!" I note that most of the plots in the cemetery are small....baby size small.
Day 102: Some sort of pestilence has taken root. Lots of coughing up blood and vomiting.
Day 112: The mortality is still with us...nothing seems to stop it....the doctor is dead himself.
Day 115: One third of the village is dead. Some think God is angry. It was decided to avenge this by getting the Jews but it turns out none were stupid enough to sign up for this thing. We burned Mormons at the stake instead.
Day 119: God has forsaken us. We must have lost our way! To show that we no longer burn people at the stake for religious reasons we burned the guy that suggested it at the stake himself.
Day 122: Half the village is dead but things may be turning around. Blacksmith thought it would be funny to have a "Bring out the Dead" cart. We found this not amusing at all so we broke him on a wheel.
Day 131: The Disease is gone but now we're simulating another freaking famine!
Day 143: New Famine is over. A nobleman has shown himself for the first time only to complain I didn't produce enough crops! What a dick!
Day 148: Finally, at long last, a freaking feast! It is so on! I can't wait to taste meat agai.......that's a strange army out there in the east. What is that? A crescent on their flag? Allah? Oh shi........................
Dear Family of Robert A Greerson. It is our contractual obligation to inform you that the aforementioned did not make it to the end of the fabulous fantasy simulation he signed up for. He is buried in the mass grave outside the village along with everyone else that wasn't captured and forced into slavery in the east.
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Let 'er rip!